The life that we live

I am frustrated and hurt today. I am waiting to get my medication and when I talked to my friend about it the response was ” I have issues with getting prescriptions for every emotional turmoil, but that’s just me” I feel like that is a personal attack. I know that I am just over reacting because of my emotional state but he doesn’t understand because he doesn’t go through the emotional highs and lows of being Bipolar. He doesn’t know what it’s like to be so anxious that you can’t sit still or think about a single thing for more than a few minutes without feeling like you are going to go crazy, then jumping to the next subject. He doesn’t get that you feel sick to your stomach all the time because you are so anxious, or that every muscle hurts because you can’t relax for more than a few seconds. He has never felt a jaw that has been clenched for hours on end just because tension is throughout your body and uncontrollable. He doesn’t know what it’s like to feel like the world has ended and left you behind. What it’s like to physically feel like you have been hit with a brick wall and you can’t even manage getting out of bed. When you sleep for 15 hrs and are still tired being unable to do anything but cry for your sanity. He just doesn’t understand and to hear that He doesn’t think you should use the medication as a crutch infuriates me. I feel like he is telling me that I am making this up or like I’m running away from my feelings. Doesn’t he understand the medication just slows down or calms down the thoughts so that I can deal with my emotions? I am so frustrated right now and I can’t voice this to him because I know I will say something I will regret. I don’t want to hurt him.

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