The life that we live

Ok it’s a long story but I am single with a male best friend who is as close to having a partner as you can get without a commitment. So here is how the story goes.. we have been friends for several years now (almost 6 to be exact) and in the begining we considered dating. For reasons that will remain unsaid it was decided that we would not date but stay friends. We went through several years of bouncing back and forth with our friendship sometimes going several months without talking. Well for this last year we have spent every day talking or texting faithfully. I tell him everything like a good best friend and we have gotten so close that even my teenage kids call him dad. (that’s a whole other story) So we started telling each other that we love one another. Strange, yes? Keep in mind there is still no dating or any other kind of intimate interaction. So any way, now he wants me and the kids to move in with him… What do you think? All a bit confusing right? So that is where I stand on the relationship front, a long drawn out confusing situation. So am I single? Well I guess I am, I just have a best friend who happens to be involved in my life decisions.. go figure right?

I once felt a love so fine
In those days you were mine.
Things went bad or so you say
So now I’m here alone today.

I once held you close to me
I still love you can’t you see.
We once walked into the sun
Now I have no more fun.

The sun has set upon our love
It was once pure like a dove.
It’s so hard to say good by
You said you loved me was that a lie?

I see the pain inside your eye
Same as when we said good by.
I hope to see better times
I can say today now I’m fine

So it’s Halloween and all the witches and monster costumes will be roaming the streets. I love to see them all playing, running around, and having fun. This is probably the last year my kids are going to let me go with them trick or treating but that’s just part of them getting older. So my problem with Halloween is the outragous cost of costumes, (which are usually to skimpy for the girls to be wearing) and the over priced candy. At least the pumpkins are cheap after all some kid is just going to steal it and smash it any way. I bought my pumpkin to early this year and ended up having to throw it away because it got rotten.. LOL So any way, tonight it is raining and we will be walking, getting wet, and ultimately probably getting sick just for some candy that we could have bought in the store and kept warm for. Oh well, part of the amped up holiday I guess.

I have decided that I am going to go on strike from house work!! I hate cleaning. There are always dishes dirty and the laundry is never ever done. Dirty socks and folding cloths the work is never done. Dusting takes forever and it seems like as soon as you dust there is a layer sneaking up behind you ready to pounce. And what is the deal with trying to dust electronics? The shit NEVER comes clean!! Then there is the vaccuming, you have to move all the furniture AFTER you pick up all the crap your kids leave all over then place and then you go to town just so the kids can throw their stuff everywhere a few hours later when they get home from school. Don’t get me wrong, I love my kids but the cleaning can be a pain. I want them to see just how much I really do around the house.. the kids that is. They are older so they are learning to appreciate what I do. Which is funny because usually kids at this age don’t appreciate anything, but my kiddo’s are learning. Laundry, I can handle doing every part of laundry except matching socks and putting cloths away. For some reason that just totally drives me crazy. So let us go over this, I hate dusting, sweeping, dishes, vacumming, and laundry.. Did I miss anything?? lol. I like cooking, I guess that makes me a good home maker, right? LOL No really it’s not that big a deal and usually I happily go about my day cooking and cleaning, listening to music, having a good ol’ time but some times I get frustrated and pissy because I feel under appreciated. Of course I can’t stand a dirty house so I have to do it and a lot of times I just drive myself crazy when someone does it different than me, I guess I have a little OCD when it comes to cleaning. OH well, so I had to bitch and complain for a minute before I… uh well… go clean

I can’t stop thinking about this and I just have to say that it’s bull shit that guys aren’t considered sluts when they sleep around. It also pisses me off that it isn’t politically correct for a guy to be celibate unless he is a priest or something ridiculous like that. What guys aren’t allowed to take a break from all of the slutting around that they are supposed to be doing, grrr! What if a guy was in a relationship for a long time and they just broke up? What then guys? Do you do what is expected of you and jump the next piece of meat that will allow it? Or do you take a break and let your head get right again? Me I’d jump the next piece of meat that would let me, JUST KIDDING!!! Ok well that’s my two cents and I’m stickin to it. LOL

You want to know what’s bull shit? I have been single for several years now and that means I have not had sex in several years. If I was a man that would NOT be ok. Men are allowed to go and sleep with as many women as they want whenever they want and it’s ok, but if I were to go around sleeping with whomever I wanted I would be a slut. Well what the hell? It’s such crap I can’t stand it. See it’s not normal for a woman to go out and have sex with strangers, even if it only happens once in awhile because then they are not good girls any more. How ridiculous. So what do I think? I think that if I am single and I feel like have well protected but one night stand sex, I would go for it. What do you think?

I got three hours sleep now and I am totally awake now. I made my bed and am on here blogging again, go figure. So I was thinking about this, how is it possible for me to go on such little sleep for so many nights in a row? HMMMM right? Well I don’t know but I’m glad that atleast I’m not totally useless right now like I thought I was going to be, though I am very hungry. How should I take care of that I wonder, LOL guess pancakes could be the answer if I can get out of this lazy funk. And oh yes, I must get a shower, you know, to wake me up ughhh. Do you know that people actually pay to see the things that I’m doing right now? No No No, now get your minds out of the gutter. I am talking about everyday normal things like cooking and cleaning and typing on the computer. Yes there are actually pay web cam sites of people doing just this.. hmmm interesting (as I rub my chin thoughtfully) LOL.

Well this is me at 11:21 at night on a school night. Yes a school night. My son is homeschooled so that puts me on a school week’s schedule.

I am sooooo sick of this mania bull shit. Here I am 18hrs awake and there is no sight of sleep anywhere! So what am I going to do? I’m going to blog !

I am so totally listening to such a wide variety of music right now you wouldn’t believe it, but that was a random thought as most of mine are in times like these. I love listening to music but shhhh I have to be very very quiet after ten p.m. cuz we have a sound curfew here in my apartment building and I don’t want to get into trouble.. I stay out of trouble whenever possible.

There are definitly a few idiots that live here that make staying out of trouble difficult sometimes though. That’s a whole other story for a whole other time though. Ok well I have to write on my other three blogs and I have to finish setting this one up soooo UNTILL NEXT TIME

You want to know what pisses me off? I took all this time to write an incredibly insightful post for my post on this blog and I didn’t save it. I hit the back button by accident and lost it!! DO YOU BELIEVE IT???? How frustrating right? Any who

I am totally sitting here writing my little heart out because… well to be quite honest… I have nothing better to do. LOL. I am wide awake due to some mania which means even though I’ve been up for 20hrs it doesn’t matter  I’m still awake with no signs of sleep in my near future. I have to be awake in four hours to start homeschooling my son, who is also having an insomniacs night.

The two of us are a pair let me tell you, we are laughing and joking about the lack of sleep we are getting but we joke purely out of frustration. Maybe that’s how I deleted the post that I wrote, because I was to tired to realize what I was doing… Ya that’s it, I can blame it on being tired HA!!

Ok well that is what I’m doing right now but I have to get going because I have like 4 other blogs I have to write in and some advertising I have to collect. So hugs ya all and come back tomorrow and see what I’m upto! PEACE